Crush Liberalism

Lobster theft

This isn’t a political post, but interesting nonetheless. From Aggieland:

28-year-old homeless man remained jailed Sunday after Red Lobster employees said he walked into the College Station eatery a day earlier and pulled a live 3-pound lobster out of its tank.

When police caught up to the man later, he said he had left the crustacean with the restaurant’s competitor, College Station Seafood, according to court documents. A short time later, the animal was recovered from the restaurant, police reported.

The man was detained by police in the bathroom of a Texas Avenue office building after a Red Lobster employee followed him there and reported his whereabouts to police, documents state.

He left the stolen Red Lobster lobster at College Station Seafood? How did this transpire?

College Station Seafood: Hey, Homeless Dude! Come here. We’ve got a proposition for you. How’d you like to earn $50 right now?

Homeless Dude: Sounds great! What do I need to do?

College Station Seafood: Red Lobster’s been kicking our #sses for years. We want to know what they’re serving over there that gets so many people to bypass us and go to them. Go into Red Lobster and bring back a trade secret that might help us.

(Hours later…)

Homeless Dude (panting): Here…it…is! Where’s…my…money?

College Station Seafood: Here ya go…nice job! (Reflecting on lobster) Wow! Red Lobster is selling…lobster! Who knew? Those evil genius b#stards! Why didn’t we think of that? Oh, well, at least we know their trade secret now! Mwahahahahahahahaha!

October 23, 2006 - Posted by crushliberalism | Uncategorized