Crush Liberalism

Satire alert: Dems wants U.S. to leave U.S. by Fall ’07

Those brilliant minds at The Nose On Your Face have done it again!

Senate majority leader Harry Reid is calling for the United States to leave the United States by October 31st 2007, saying that country has inflicted “incalculable amounts of suffering” upon not only the rest of the world, but also it’s own people.

“The evidence is clear,” said Reid. “Since America has been at the route of the rest of the world’s problems, doesn’t it naturally follow that we are the cause of our own ills as well? I think we need to get our own house in order and the best way to do that is to separate us from ourselves in a timely manner.”

Democrats were vague as to where the more than 300 million Americans would be relocated to, but some sources expected that 2/3 would likely return to their native Mexico to “wait and see if the new northern occupants are open to diversity.”

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi offered a unique proposal for the remaining U.S. citizens.

“Some will go to the poles to repair the ice shelves,” said Pelosi. “Others will be fitted with leaves, bark, and howler monkeys and be sent to the rainforests of South America to replace the trees that have been so callously destroyed by the U.S.’s ravenous appetite for paper products. And finally, the remaining citizens will be sent to France and the Palestinian territory to receive immersion training in enculturation and tolerance.”

Plans for the former United States are still unclear, but Reid said that they will likely involve “a right of return for Native Americans and mastodons.”

Well, considering that leftards do blame America for the world’s ills, one has to wonder just how far from reality such satire truly is.

April 25, 2007 - Posted by crushliberalism | satire