Kerry throws a party to honor…himself
Jean-François Heinz-Kerry, who is rumored to have served in Vietnam, is throwing quite the shindig. The guest of honor? Himself.
Hey, the Senate needs leaders like Kerry. I mean, if it weren’t for his intellectual prowess, he wouldn’t have given this country such important legislation as…
Hmmm. Well, he did sponsor the bill that allowed for…
I mean, there was the time he successfully sponsored and got passed the bill that…
Well, he did manage to bring up the bill that got signed into law that…
OK, I’m all out of ammo on this one. Other than gravy-train off of his ketchup heiress wife’s fortune, I only know of two things he has accomplished in his lackluster Senate career: jack and squat.

“Re-elect me, Massholes, so I can continue the nothing I’ve worked so hard on over the last couple of decades.”
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